oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
