New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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