Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
