I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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