dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
