Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
