Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
