Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
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It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize