one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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