And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
