I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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