i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know her cup size but not her name....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
