They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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