Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
