you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize