so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize