Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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