please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
