looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
