Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
