he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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