He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
