i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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