shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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