just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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