I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
