I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
