You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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