he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
