I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's paint friendship bongs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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