speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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