She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
