VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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