If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
