you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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