1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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