I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
did you just send me my own nude
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
