Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
