I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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