Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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