if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
