...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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