I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
