If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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