it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
