I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
