I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
