I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
