i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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