The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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