She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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