Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
