I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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