Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize