So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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