Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i need some magic done to my vagina
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
