And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
