Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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