Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
