i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
