pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
