Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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